11.26.2009

Black Friday Tips - LOL

1. GET UP EARLY AND WAIT OUTSIDE YOUR STORE OF CHOICE AT LEAST 5 HOURS BEFORE OPENING. Sure, getting up early and waiting in the cold isn't an ideal situation, but most stores only stock a VERY limited supply of the best deals, so the rewards go to those who get in line first. Remember, the better the deal, the less quantity they will stock.
2. Be a jerk. Being a nice, polite shopper will get you trampled on Black Friday. When all else fails, become unruly, it might take a little elbow bumping to grab that last LCD TV, but hey, that $20 savings is worth it, right? As soon as those doors open people will go rushing in, so be prepared to argue over items, take other people's baskets, and verbally abuse other people to get what you want.
3. Count on store employees helping you. Retail employees who have to work Black Friday are the most happy employees in the world. Everyone is fighting for the attention of the store employees, so one more won't hurt. Once you get one of them to help you, demand they only pay attention to you and start yelling obscenities if they attempt to help anyone else. You waited long enough to talk to them, it's your right!
4. Find out which stores match competitors’ prices. It helps to bring along the ad when you shop so that you can prove the item is on sale somewhere else at a reduced price. Many employees have no problem dropping what they are doing so that they can verify the item at the competitor and tie up a register while they change the price for you.
5. At the end of your shopping adventure remember: Lines are not important, you are! So when you see a line for checkout, feel free to jump in the front. Everyone else will understand, and if not, see Tip #2.

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